Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
