I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
zippers are such a cool invention
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
