Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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