u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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