THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize