I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize