let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
vagina is talking i cant
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
