WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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