I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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