dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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