You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
