if i died would you start the facebook group?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
