I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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