went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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