If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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