That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize
