I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
All the doctor said was why
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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