I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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