How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize