I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize