More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
