no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
