I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
