It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
