Can Purell be used as lube?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize