I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
