It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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