Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sorry about my life...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
