Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
