i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You took a bar mat shot.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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