Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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