He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
