its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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