it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
