yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
