im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize