i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
