apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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