Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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