Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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