butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
