Say something about gay babies.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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