I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
