I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's shark week go big or go home
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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