Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
