I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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