Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
