Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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