omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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