my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
