I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize