Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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