I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
