May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
