I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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