and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
