That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize