I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
