week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
