Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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