what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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