Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
