i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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