Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
