ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
