Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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