I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
