i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Someone came in the potted fern
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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