i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
