Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
