And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
