New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
