? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
