I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
