3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
