Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
