my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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