It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
